Consciously or unconsciously, purposefully or automatically, we select a particular course of action every moment in our lives. That means that all other potential alternatives are either intentionally or automatically sacrificed for the sake of that singular choice.

            One of the definitions Webster gives to the word sacrifice is, "Destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else; giving up of some desirable thing in behalf of a higher object." From its etymological roots, sacrifice means to do or to make that which is holy or sacred. Consequently, sacrificing implies that the act of surrendering some valuable thing has a holy or sacred meaning and purpose. Think of it: throughout our entire lives, of the infinite number of possible behavioral paths open to us each instant, we select one and only one! Simultaneously we implicitly reject all the other alternatives. Once we have acted, the time it took to do what we did is past, and that spent moment and the completed action cannot be rescinded. Meanwhile, the relinquished, sacrificed possibilities continually fade rapidly into the past as time moves on! Shakespeare put it this way: "What's done cannot be undone." Right now, for example, you are reading these words. Does it occur to you that you could be using this time to read other material, surf the Internet, exercise, watch a film, pull weeds, climb a tree, phone a friend, work on one of your hobbies, or ... or whatever. The list could go on indefinitely.

            When we do things automatically or unconsciously, what are the determining factors or the criteria upon which those actions are based? (In this discussion, instinctual and reflexive reactions are intentionally and consciously excluded.) Sometimes we do what we have been conditioned to do -- often since early childhood; that is, we act out of "habit." Sometimes we select a course that someone else or some group has directed us to take -- or we do what we think they want us to do - via rules, directions, regulations, traditions, or commands. And sometimes the criterion is a concept that has been adopted from a non-specific collective source, such as "be nice to strangers," "be wary of strangers," "be kind to elders," "always wear a tie to work," "eat with your mouth closed," etc. We seem mostly to react out of familiarity and habit.

            When we are aware of our actions, either because of mindfulness (an intent to focus) or because we face a situation where alternative paths somehow grab our attention, we face the dilemma of making a conscious choice. Deliberate action raises the questions, "What part of us makes the choice?" and "On what criteria do we base that choice?" Whatever the source or reason for a particular choice, each one implies massive sacrifices.

            There seem to me to be several possible sources of decision-making within us, including the inner mother, father, child, trickster, wise old man or woman, and hero, which is intimately bound up with the Self (Carl Jung's term for wholeness or the totality of what we are). In a general way, we can describe the kinds of choices made by these personality complexes. The positive, nurturing inner mother is concerned with care-taking and nurturing; she would be concerned with such things as maintaining good health and satisfying the needs of the inner child. The paternal part of us protects, guides, and establishes and enforces rules and boundaries; he provides the moral foundation of our behavior. The inner child's actions are generally based on a desire for immediate gratification of desires, motivated by a need for security, positive strokes, and love, and often initiated by aroused enthusiasm, desire for fun and excitement, or feelings of fear, frustration, or avoidance of negative consequences. The trickster in us cleverly confuses, beguiles or misleads us, serving nature's efforts to promote inner growth and development through recognition and discrimination. The inner wise ones make sagacious choices based on past experience and an experientially grounded vision of potential consequences. And the inner hero, which is dedicated to the soul and the striving for wholeness, makes choices founded in what is perceived to be the "highest purpose," the soul's longing or "God's Will."

            For example, one may face a table of luscious looking desserts after eating a nourishing and satisfying meal. The inner child may long to taste all the good-looking desserts. (We know about that!) If the decision were left to the child, that is what would happen. Mother (in her positive form) might want to satisfy the inner child, and support its desire, or she might be so concerned for the child's health, she would entice the child away from the desserts with her affection. Father (in his positive form) would evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of eating the desserts and perhaps set limits on which and how many are selected; he would tend to generate distractions in the form of interesting, challenging activities to capture the inner child's attention. The heroic part of us looks at the overall effects -- balancing the body's response and the likely ultimate feelings-in-the-heart -- to determine what appears to be the most likely harmonious outcome. The inner hero might aid the parents in their efforts or take some other course of action governed by this primary agenda: the hero acts courageously, creatively, and morally to achieve the peace and harmony of the spirit that the soul seeks. Inner wisdom, caring, and personal morality guide the hero on his/her path. The trickster has many possible pranks to pull, from getting us to trip or drop our dish on the way to the dessert table to distorting our perception of what lies on the table -- for example, by making the one least desired by the inner child suddenly seem most attractive, or vice versa.

            In the normal course of our lives, we analyze relatively few of our situations and responses. It appears rare that we reflect on and ask ourselves about the criteria upon which we decide to choose a course of action. We often become conscious that time has passed and we have been functioning on autopilot, like a pre-programmed robot. It can be a frightening experience to reflect on those lapses. Where did we go? Who or what took over -- was it friend or foe?

            One could not possibly be conscious and reflective of life's details with every choice and sacrifice one is making in each instant; that would take more time than the moment would allow, and we would never get out of the trap of constantly analyzing every element of movement, thought, and feeling. What seems important is to know about the choices that we have in a more general way and to realize that when we act, we are the ones responsible for what we are doing. Requisite to maintaining inner peace is that we learn to be satisfied with our choices and to be willing to accept that sacrificing is an essential and normal part of life.